Hello Thumb

Luci learned how to suck her thumb. It is so cute and I can't help but let her. I know some people say that it is a bad habit and that she will have buck teeth, but hey, I had buck teeth and didn't suck my thumb, so who can really know.

I believe that what prompted this thumb discovery is that she is starting to teethe! Only 3 and a half months old, but all she wants to do is chew on things and drool on other things. Serious signs of the teeth getting ready to "erupt"...what an awful term. Anyway, she was happily chewing on her hands and then the thumb just popped into place and away she went! Whoo-hoo!

The beauty of the thumb sucking is that it makes her feel better, thus lessening the crying and fussing that happens.

Hooray for self-soothing!

Selective Bottling

I’m trying to do this every day because I need to work on my writing. I love writing. Sometimes writing loves me. More typically writing laughs in my face and then allows me one sentence I am happy with. Wicked, wicked writing. Here is my attempt for today:


Since you can't tell I have just sat staring at the computer screen for the last 10 minutes. That is an exaggeration. It was more like 5, but I am impatient and time is ticking by like waiting for happy hour to start when you only have enough money for $2 dollar beers.



The Barracuda is at home today with her Grandma, Tommy's mom refusing to eat. I have been back at work now since the 30th and we have been trying to get her to take a bottle since she hit 2 months. Some days she'll do it, most days she won't. It is hard not to take it personally since really she seems to refuse to eat mostly for Tommy's side of the family. What is that all about? Today (I am told) when her Grandma tried to feed her she threw a sweet little fit, real tears and all, and then passed out for an hour. When my sister came up to walk the dog she tried to feed her and Luci ate the whole bottle we had made for her like it was the most natural thing ever. Maybe it is just luck, or maybe it is something about my sister reminding her of me.

You have books that say you should introduce the bottle no later than 5 weeks, and the lactation nazis who practically tell you the bottle will poison your baby and not to use it. So you don't. Or at least I didn't. And then it was time to come back to work and we were stuck with using it. Everyone tells me she'll get it and in a month this will all be no big deal....right. I'll let you know in a month.

Date Night

We got to go on a date last week! A real date. Drinks, dinner, drinks...Tommy dropped the Barracuda off at my parents house late in the afternoon while I was at work so that when I got home around 7pm we could leave right off.

It was so strange being home without the baby there. I kept having this horrible feeling like I left her somewhere and couldn't remember where.

Without the baby we managed to get out of the house relatively quickly, something that hasn't happened in a long time.

(Note: all new parents are always late. Plan accordingly if you are meeting them somewhere, even their own house.)

We even had time to stop at a bar for a pre-dinner cocktail. Dinner was delicious and after dinner the pint we had at one of our old posts was equally as satisfying. It was only a few hours, but for that brief period of time I felt like I had stepped out of the parent vortex, which was just what I needed before heading home to clean up a really dirty diaper and get spit on. It was kind of like her quiet little protest to our date. Oooohhh Barracuda!

Control Freak

New Mom's are control freaks. At least this new Mom is a control freak. After 9 months of being in charge of Lucia's well being, and then 3 more months of providing for her 24 hour care, it is next to impossible for me not to try and continue to control everything that is happening with her.

I am back at work now, 40 hours a week crammed into 4 days. One of the lucky ones, Lucia is being cared for by my parents, her Dad and his parents. All very competent and lovely people who are so totally capable of taking care of her it should make me sigh with relief and sleep better at night. But I don't. And it doesn't. Instead I get up extra early to make bottles, pack diaper bags and lay out clothes. I have to give myself a limit of how many times I am allowed to call during the day to check in. (Yesterday it was 5. Today it was 6.) Last night, out of what I believe to be my subconscious guilt for leaving, I had a dream about losing Lucia in the bed. I acutally woke Tommy up asking where the baby was. Once assured that she was in her cradle I fell back into a restless sleep.

I cannot control everything. This is my new mantra. Breathe in, breathe out. She will be okay if her cloth diaper is not folded exactly how I would fold it. It will still soak up the pee.

The Beginning

I should have started this when Lucia was born, but who can do anything with a newborn but breastfeed and pray for sleep? Let me give you a little history to get up to speed:

Last February, on the morning after Valentines Day I woke up convinced that the last pregnancy test I took was wrong. I knew I was pregnant, or at least that something was seriously different. I couldn't even get out of bed without making a bra with my hands the girls hurt so bad. After a long year of trying to get pregnant, and doing everything but buying stock in First Response, I trudged into the bathroom, boobs in hand, to pee on yet another plastic stick.

3 minutes later...I found out I was right. Well, 3 minutes, 2 tests and a trip to the local Prego Resource Center for one of their tests. Hey, I wanted to be sure. And now, almost a year later, I have a gorgeous, pudgy, drool machine named Lucia Louise aka, the Barracuda. First things first - her name is pronounced Loo-see-a, not Loo-sha. Common mistake. Also, good nicknames, Lu-Lu, Luci, Louie-Louie. Bad nicknames, Luci-lou, L-L, and Baby Girl. Those are the rules. Stick to them and we can all be friends.

Luci came 3.5 weeks early and we were not prepared at all. I didn't even have my diaper bag yet. My water broke at my friend Lauren's house who luckily had gone through the exact same thing 11 months earlier and was so calm and excited about the whole thing. From my point of view it looked like I peed my pants after holding my bladder for a year. She stayed with me at the hospital until I asked Tommy (Luci's Dad) to clear the room. Eighteen long, looooooong, hours (and some IV narcotics and an epidural) later Lucia made her debut and helped me forget what it took to get her here. Since then I have been living in a world of nipple shields, breast pumps, cloth diapers, and the goofiest (sp?) sideways grins a girl can handle.

We have made it 3 months and after reading Anne Lamott's journal about her son's first year ("Operating Instructions"), I thought I should try and keep track too. So, in an effort to do so, here is the beginning of Barracuda Diaries....learn it, live it, love it.